I H8 Fixies

Today, I saw something I couldn’t quite figure out. It was a dude on a chrome Bianchi fixie, but he was all decked out in matching tighties and jersey, with an expensive helmet, glasses, and clipless elf shoes like some Tour de France team rider or something. He was pimping the racer steez, but he was on a fixie and had a messenger bag. Huh? It was a fixie bike, but it had those behind-the-seat triathlon bottle cages (not the best match for the messenger bag). What? His bullhorn bars were wrapped so thickly with grip tape, they were about as fat as Red Bull cans. Um… Everything about him and his rig was non-sequiter. I wouldn’t be at all surprised if he had aerobars, but I didn’t look. At least his wheels matched…

Fashion and technical faux-pas aside, the thing I took issue with was his selfish riding style. He was in the Young Street bike lane, but was going painfully slow so he could wait out the next traffic light instead of going at a normal speed and having to stop at the intersection. This of course blocked me from making a right turn and made traffic stack up behind me. Nice. Dick. This is akin to smoking: It’s his prerogative to ride what he wants just so long as it doesn’t interfere with or infringe upon others. By all means, ride your freak bike – just don’t let it inconvenience me: I am not here to suffer your folly.

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