2010 60th Annual NHK Kohaku Uta Gassen

The New Year in Hawaii means interesting seasonal entertainment from Japan on KIKU-TV. The general worldwide economic downturn has been reflected in this annual spectacle in more austere sets and decreased use of expensive shots like the helicopter fly-in on ELT on a rooftop stage at the opening many years back. The talent level has remained fairly consistent through the years, so the enjoyment level has remained pretty much the same. Here are some reflections on this year:

Hamasaki Ayumi – WTF! I really wish she’d retire gracefully already. She is so bad. When the program opened with her, I was tempted to change the channel. Loved seeing her seethe in the background when Ueto Aya upstaged her a couple of years back! At least she didn’t have one of her terrible self-designed dresses this year. Hey, I’m trying to be positive here!

EXILE – Black santa or Hard Gay fashion revival?

AKB 48 – Okay, the bad taste that Hamasaki left is now all gone with a heavy dose of fluffy pop sweetness. Their body of work can be thought of as mindless and pointless, but what’s wrong with fun, happy pop? Nothing! Okay, they were probably lip-synching, but I really can’t hate this… well, it would have been nice if their segment was longer!

flumpool – Not bad mainstream J-rock. If they were more on-key and more angry, I’d like them more. They should do some anime theme songs, it they haven’t already.

NYC boys – well-rehearsed very young pretty-boy band. Nothing really groundbreaking here, just the current fresh faces following in the footsteps of SMAP and V6. I do want a LED vest for some reason now…

Ikimono Gakari – Nice, vocal-centric pop… think of ELT with more core talent and less reliance on keyboards and programming. Guitar, Bass, and voice. Singer hit all the notes. Choral backing arranged well too.

Kato Seishirou (Kids’ Kohaku) – Did his best to channel Matsuken’s singing and stage presence.

Sakura Maya (Kids’ Kohaku) – Young enka prodigy. Remember this name and performance in several years.

Snow Prince (Kids’ Kohaku) – Mini version of NYC boys (see above) with a little more talent. Wonder what will happen when their voices change…

Oohashi Nozomi (Kids’ Kohaku) – Happy kids song like a flashback to 1980’s kids anime.

Kodai Natsumi – Enka

Kitayama Takeshi – Enka. Great, backdancers in those white matsuri shorts…

GIRL NEXT DOOR – Dance pop is not dead! Couple of flat notes and chaotic backdancers, but enjoyable.

Jero – Half-African-American Enka wunderkind. I’d have to say he’s one of the best in the business – young or established. He is infinitely skilled and can emote incredible well. I always enjoy his performances.

Mizuki Nana – Actualy good live. Gee… did I hear this as an anime theme song? Duh… White Album opening (I was just marathoning that). A lot easier to look at and listen to than Takahashi Yoko (Evangelion opening).

FUNKY MONKEY BABYS – J-Hip-hop. Stop jumping and scratch on those turntables dammit!

Nakamura Mitsuko – Enka

Pornografitti – Unremarkable J-rock

Tendou Yoshimi – Enka singer, although this song was more contemporary in nature. Good piano accompaniment. Technically a great performance. Very emotive.

Mikawa Kenichi – Man, this is the must-see part of the show! With a run up with transvestites IKKO and Haruna Ai dressed like harem girls, what can be expected? From a black gown and bollywood opening to a change to a feathered and sequined ensemble, the Drag Emperor of Japan performed his signature Sasoriza no Onna. I still yearn for the return of the pre-downturn days of electric gowns and wire and crane stunts.

Sakamoto Fuyumi – Faultless contemporary vocal performance.

Hosokawa Takashi – signature enka performance of Boukyou Jonkara with crazy shamisen accompaniment and modern orchestral backing.

Ohtsuka Ai – Somewhat like the nasal cutesy off-key style of Yuki from Judy and Mary. Nice leg there peeking out from that trainwreck dress. Band was awesome.

Remioromen – 3-man contemporary rock ensemble. Vocals a little off-key too much of the time. Use the mic – don’t yell. Forgettable performance, but the song might sound good on the CD.

Kawanaka Miyuki – Enka with more vibrato than you can shake a stick at.

Mori Shinichi – Enka. Breathless lows to operatic highs. Feel transported back to the cabaret days of the 1950’s.

Susan Boyle – Oh no! Don’t perpetrate this on the Japanese people!

Yuusuke – Hip-hop-ish pop complete with hollow manipulated “Cher” effect intro. Whee.  What the heck is that yellow krap in your hair?

Aiko – Well-written pop piece. Vocals were off-key a little too much, but backing musicians were good. Album version might be good.

Tokunaga Hideki – Contemporary tenor (heck, maybe even countertenor) vocal with a falsetto bent.

Hirahara Ayaka – Wow! There’s that intense voice that made her an internet sensation. Totally on key. Effortless projection. Interesting electric-guitar-heavy backing for something that’s more in the Broadway show tune genre.

Tokio – They’re pretty established in the Kohaku like the SMAP guys. Their light rock ballad was performed well with surprisingly on-key (though nasal and shrill) vocals.

Akimoto Junko – Powerful, versatile enka voice with a great range. One of the better female Enka singers on the Kohaku.

Perfume – No, I didn’t miss someone, the Red/White order was switched here and again later. Pop trio Perfume lip-synched over their signature synthesizer-distorted vocals in front of some seizure-inducing graphics. I like the future? I don’t know what it is – they’re on the less-attractive side of normal, their singing annoys me, and their dance moves suck – but I can’t stop watching. It’s so bad it’s good?

Touhoushinki – 5-guy R&B vocal ensemble. Technically good, but I don’t really go for the style.

Mizumori Kaori – Classic enka from a younger face. Great performance.

Itsuki Hiroshi – One of the big guns of enka turns in a flawless performance. His control and use of dynamic range and vibrato are second to none.

SMAP – Their Michael Jackson memorial tribute showed that they have some definite talent at dancing. Someone should really stop them from singing. We’ll have to suffer through that later, I guess.

Kimura Kaera – Spot-on-key pop with hints of classical training. Her range is very good, but her voice is perhaps lacks a little in projection and impact. I’d compare her to a vocalist like Okamoto Mayo but an octave higher.

Alice – Old farts of rock and roll. Keiji-drama fans will recognize Horiuchi Takao from his cameos in the Hagure Keiji series. Still going strong after almost 30 years. If Tokio keeps it up, they’ll be like these guys on the 85th Kohaku.

Nakashima Mika – Light, lilting vocals. I feel like I’m in the opening sequence of an anime adaptation of a shoujo manga… She slips off key at lower registers. The hazel contact lenses make her look like Hakuei from the Machine days.

Yuzu – Pop duo. Good at times, bad at others. If they learned two-part harmony, they could potentially become like the C&K of Japan, but like most Japanese ensemble groups, they insist on all singing the same part.

Angela Aki – Vocally outstanding, but I find her a little difficult to look at. She returns again to the Kohaku with an evocative piano ballad. This is the real deal – no overdubs and she’s playing the piano for real herself.

Fuse Akira – Nightclub baritone sings a Nihongo take on the Paul Anka-written Frank Sinatra classic.

Kobayashi Sachiko – Back in the day, she was the foil to Mikawa Kenichi and his electric dress. This year, she began her song in a bejeweled fantasy gown before a black backdrop that opened to reveal a giant statue of herself, the outstretched hands of the figure her stage. This was a parody of the 7-meter statue of the singer in an apron holding a rice paddle erected in a shopping mall in Niigata supposedly to encourage voter turnout.

Fukuyama Masahiro – Lip-synched (badly) through an outdoor live shot in Nagasaki.

Koda Kumi – The Japanese soul sister brings her imouto on stage to double the hoochie factor. She was on-key this year. Younger sister has a similar vocal range, particularly rich on the low side. Scary… Good scary.

Arashi – Boy pop with an occasional slip into hip hop. Surprisingly on-key. Still lame.  Times 5.

Eikichi Yazawa – Hey, they switched the Red/White order back. Another old man of rock. Special performance not on the schedule. Old guys rule! He’s one of the great formative influences in rock in Japan.

Kobukuro – Pop/rock duo. It’s like two trains running on different tracks. They aren’t singing the same part, nor are they singing in harmony. To make it worse, their singing styles differ significantly. I think the problem is the guy with the lower vocal range. Needs work.

Wada Akiko – Her performance is another must-see every year. The Kohaku would not be the same without her deep, contralto voice and towering figure. She captained the Red team for years. This year in a black gown, she towers above a vast white field of her backing chorus. She started getting a little off-key here and there several years back, and each year this gets a little more pronounced.

Hikawa Kiyoshi – Following in the steps of Matsuken and his samba, Kiyoshi takes a stab at something with a flamenco beat this year. Interesting. His stage presence is good and voice flawless. Starting out as a young prodigy like Jero, he’s on his way to take hisplace amongst the old guard.

Ishikawa Sayuri – Enka in a higher register. Her mole freaks me out.

Ayaka – Hey, they switched the order yet again! Much better than her previous live performances. Fairly wide vocal range. Not unlike Koda Kumi doing a power ballad.

SMAP – I dreaded this, but they were actually not bad.when singing together, but the requisite solo parts were pretty terrible. Nakai and Kimura were painfully bad.

DREAMS COME TRUE – Yoshida again fails to impress. Her vocal range is incredible like Anita Baker, but she really can’t hold a note. It’s a little sad. I’m a little jaded with their material also.

Kitajima Saburo – The Grand God of Enka sings his signature Matsuri. Good as ever! Uh-oh…here come those underwear guys again!

5-hours. It’s over now. It is definitely not the spectacle it once was, but it is an integral part of my New Year experience. Time to get my kit ready for the first MTB ride of 2010, and maybe work a little more on the 2010 SNM wallpaper image.