Hey, it’s that time of the year again! I’m feeling a bit ambivalent about watching the Kohaku this year, but I figure once it gets going, I’ll be more enthusiastic. I better set the VCR though, just in case I fall asleep or miss something. Here we go!
- Hamasaki Ayumi – Seriously? Flat off the start. Is something wrong with her legs? She’s sitting in a golden throne… Oh, wait, she stood up. Oh man, that’s so off key! She’s got some major Kakaa (grandma) armpit-fat going on there. Looks like she forgot how to smile too.
- Sexy Zone – Who are these guys? Some new boy band I guess. OK, I’ve heard their xmas song on KORL. They seem to be on key, but they may be just lip-synching. It’s like multi-colored bishonen sentai now…
- NMB48 – Yay! The Osaka Namba 48 group! From the silver disco boots, I sense a costume change in the future. Are they lip-synching? It sounds too close to the recoded version to be live… unless they’re that good! Dammit! Where’s my costume change?!?!
- Hosokawa Takashi – Whoa, they just flowed into Hosokawa’s Nani wa Buji dayo Jinsei wa. As forceful as expected.
- Tokunaga Hideaki – Breathless alto 80’s flashback pop? He had a few bobbles in pitch and his voice cracked a couple times, but a good live performance, despite the material.
- Kouzai Kaori – As expected, a solid enka performance with great dynamic range and effortless pitch range. She did puff the mic once though.
- Gou Hiromi – He’s still going at it. He’s still got the range, but it doesn’t seem like he has the power and projection that he had before. He’ll still be dandy when he’s 80!
- E-girls – With a name like that, they could be a K-pop group. OK, I’ve heard the songs in this medly on KORL. Not terrible. They didn’t get the pitch perfect on everything, but they did it live – I give them credit for that. They’re apparently from the EXILE producers.
- Sandaime J Soul Brothers – A touch flat here and there, but a decent live performance. This is what the K-pop boy bands should aspire to approach.
- Godai Natsuko – Enka with tremolo to spare. Her voice remains rich and refined.
- AAA (Triple A) – I’m not expecting much from them considering their performances in past years. I guess the bad thing about the song they performed being so popular is I’ve heard it over and over on KORL so much that all the off-key parts on their live performance stand out all the more. The guys are not that bad, but the two girls are super flat (vocally, dammit!) and lack power and projection.
- Fukuda Kouhei – A young enka artist making an impressive Kohaku debut. Very clean vocal style. I look forward to hearing more from him in the future.
- Fuji Ayako – Already a Kohaku staple with 18 previous performances, Fuji continues with another flawless enka performance. Her single backup dancer looked like she was doing hula in a formal kimono!
- Sakanaction – Another pop staple on KORL with their signature airy techno-style. Luckily most of the instrumental stuff is programmed so they can concentrate on the vocals. They weren’t perfect, but they did it live.
- miwa – Though this is her first Kohaku performance, miwa has already garnered a lot of popular and critical attention for her vocal and songwriting abilities. Her live performance was excellent.
- Pornografitti – Whoa, how old are these guys already? OK, they’re not dried up zombie mummies like the Stones or Aerosmith, but this is like “fat old uncle rock”. They were a more on key this year, but the song wasn’t that challenging – it almost sounded “Golden Bomber easy”.
Fight, Kumamon, fight! WTF is that yellow thing?
- Tendou Yoshimi – One of the enka staples on the Kohaku reminds us why she is invited to return yearly. She probably doesn’t need the mic with her projection. Her costume this year was almost Mikawa Kenichi-worthy and looked somewhere between Kannon and Imelda Marcos… OK, sorry, that didn’t sound good.
- LINKED HORIZON – Goofy performance of the Shingeki no Kyojin theme song. They had backdancers in the show’s military uniforms, but none dressed like Titans. Weak!
- TMR and Mizuki Nana – Their performance was pitch perfect, but the songs were lame and full of overly melodramatic emphasis. Good job with terrible material.
- SKE48 – Oh! It’s like watching rainbows and cherry blossoms come to life! Megane! Sweet! Not sure if they’re doing this live, but it’s so wonderful!
- Mori Shinichi – They just rolled into his one-man stage. He was less breathless this year performing his 1974 classic signature Erimo-misaki. Excellent. I’m really glad I got to see him perform it.
- Sakamoto Fuyumi – The lady really likes boys! This year it’s her latest single Otoko no Himatsuri, complete with taiko and those white matsuri shorts on the backdancers. She brings it again with her throaty roar.
- Kobukuro – Oh, these guys again. Guitar guy was flat yet again. Glasses guy was fine. Is that Zamfir and his flute in the background? It’s like the Andes!
- EXILE – Whoa! Scintillating iridescent LED jackets! It’s still only the two guys singing. They are actually doing it live, except the backing vocal track. They are spot on key. An excellent performance, though I don’t really like their stuff,
Full cast performance of Hana Hasaku for the kids in Tohoku led by Ayase Haruka.
- Momoiro Clover Z – Oh man, WTF. The theme of the costumes is supposed to be Kinkakuji… they look like gilded Buddhist statues come to life. They are as off-key, strained, and weak as usual. This time though the costumes make them less appealing. There are these big disks behind their heads that have some kind of programmable radial display, but they are weak. OK, they took off the golden costumes and are back to the normal colorful frills.
- Golden Bomber – Whee. Same old song – different costumes. Why are they back? Really.
- aiko – Clear vocals, but just slightly flat. Sad though. She dances slightly better than Iida Kaori – she can run in circles. Horrible shoes. Furry high-top sneakers?
- Hikawa Kiyoshi – The Prince of enka is back in form this year. Last year’s performance was a let-down, but he’s redeemed himself.
- Nishino Kana – An excellent live performance of her current Sayonara single. A flat note here and there, but considering the octave changes required for this song, it’s not bad.
- TOKIO – Whoa! Another case of “fat old uncle rock”. Everyone except maybe the drummer has chubbed out, especially obvious since they intercut footage from their past performances. A decent live performance.
- Wada Akiko – The Kohaku wouldn’t be the same without her. She was a lot better this year than last. The song was about as vocally challenging as last year, and she managed to hit the notes much better. Osaka’s tallest enka singer is back!
Amachan asadora special featuring Shiosai no Memory theme song and the drama cast.
- DREAMS COME TRUE – Satellite live from Rikuzentakata, Iwate. The choral backing vocalists save this one. Yoshida’s voice cracks regularly, but she isn’t singing at high volumes, so she doesn’t have to shout and scream as much, though she does a couple of disracting shrieks to the audience that ruin the overall professionalism of the performance. Probably one of their better Kohaku performances, though I still really don’t care for them at all.
- Kanjyani 8 – These guys are the “anti-SMAP”, in that all of them can sing. I guess Johnny’s learned something after Nakai. Their material and image sucks, but they can hold a note. The guy with the big forehead gets a little close to cracking and going off-key, but manages to hold it together.
- Kyari Pamyu Pamyu – Yay! Cute and painfully weird! A tone-perfect live performance! Mmm… cupcakes…
- Itsuki Hiroshi – Itsuki’s lilting tribute to Hakata, Fukuoka backed up by HKT48! I want his job! He’s one of the enka singers that I can identify by voice, believe it or not.
- Perfume – Oh, their stage “speaking” voices are way too high, plus their speech mannerisms are starting to turn obasan-like, so it’s like listening to the neighbor lady trying to speak like a kindergartener. Okay, they stopped talking and are on stage performing. I’m kind-of thinking that was lip-synched… though it was still mesmerizing! Uuuu… They have stayed in character all these years, even down to the costume variations.
- Yuzu – They were doing very good until the parts where they belt it out in the chorus, then they slipped out of key. There’s those darned pan flutes again! I hope that goes away by next year.
- Mizumori Kaori – She’s inherited the Mikawa Kenichi stage elevator! Whoa! Not only is she now 10-meters in the air, but the back of her dress is spread out behind her like a peacock tail! The visuals were so outlandish, it almost made me forget to pay attention to her performance. Another one of the young new crop of enka singers, her technically perfect performance would be worthy of any of the established stars like Kobayashi Sachiko, Wada Akiko, or Tendou Yoshimi. Wonderful!
Arashi’s Furusato with the kids on Minamidaitou-jima.
- Ishikawa Sayuri – Performing her eponymous 1977 Tsugaru-kaikyou Fuyugeshiki as tribute to her close friend, the late Shimakura Chiyoko who passed away from liver cancer in November. Hey! I didn’t say anything about her mole this time! Wait…
- Miwa Akihiro – Infamous yellow-wigged (yellow, not blonde!) Shouwa-era drag queen performing his signature Furusato no Sora no Shita (Yoitomake no Uta) in the requisite costume and pinpoint stage light. Google him, and his even more controversial buddy Mishima Yukio while you’re at it.
- AKB48 – Pitch perfect and entrancing, but the hideous “It’s a Small World” faux-international/ethnic-themed costumes suck goat scrote! Okay, they’ve yanked off those to reveal more expected, but still unattractive costumes for their second song. Wait, what? Oshima Yuko says she’s graduating?
- Fukuyama Masahiro – Weird. Live from Taiwan? I think I know what song he’s going to sing and I’m going to hate it. I’m sure TarepandaHI is enjoying this though. Wait for it… Oh, it’s a medly. Oh F – there it is! Tanjyoubi ni wa Mashiro na Yuri wo. I don’t know what specifically I hate about this song – it’s got so much going for it! Melodramatic low note tremelo! Pan flutes! Noooo! Hiroki don’t want!
- Izumiya Shigeru – 1970’s folk singer. He’s been an influential individual in many aspects of the entertainment industry, but not having grown up hearing about him, I just don’t get it.
- Ikimonogakari – Wow. Yoshioka really pulled it together this year! I’m impressed how on-key she is. Probably their best live performance.
- Arashi – On key, but I’m thinking this is lip-synched. They get a special and a two-song medly? Whose… oh never mind.
- Matsuda Seiko and Chris Hart – I know they charted this year, but ugh. I would rather have seen some tangible talent like Superfly or Saitou Kazuyoshi. Hart is on key and his Nihongo pronounciation is surprisingly good. Matsuda is flat and pitchy. Both of them puff the mic too much. They did some medly and not the song they released this year.
- Takahashi Mariko – Contemporary ballad vocalist. She’s on key and powerful. Not familiar with her at all.
- SMAP – Oh, this should be painful. Again it’s Nakai and Kimura being the weak links, though Katori does his part to create auditory terror. Oh, the horror… No, actually, this was one of their better live performances, though that’s not saying a whole lot.
- Kitajima Saburo – The only thing that can cure the pain of listening to SMAP is Kitasab! Riding atop a dragon float, he’s joined on stage by the full cast for his Matsuri. He’s still got the projection, pitch, and dynamic range. It’s not over until Sabu-chan sings!
I guess this year was pretty good. They seem to have had a slightly bigger budget this year, so the staging was a bit less austere than the last two years. I’m glad that there were no K-pop bands again this year, though I do wish they’d shake off some of the chaff (like Hamasaki and Golden Bomber) and fill the space with talented acts. There were a couple of announcer flubs and an urgent news bulletin that interrupted some of the inter-act jibber-jabber, and some of the comic interaction for the Amachan tie in segments came off as awkward since it didn’t seem like the audience got the joke.
Hope y’all enjoyed watching it with me.
Happy New Year!
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